Bored, broke, and eating what could be considered breakfast at 6pm, I typed "things to do in Dublin for free" and stumbled upon this top ten list. Needless to say none of them can really be done in daylight hours, which if we're to be honest, kind of sums up Dublin.
My favourite had to be this.
Number 7:
"The Boardwalk: I have to say that when I heard they were going to build the Boardwalk I thought they were daft. Humble pie. Eat. It's one of the best things to happen to Dublin in years. For one thing, it's on the sunny side of the Liffey, for another, it's living proof of global warming - if anyone had suggested to a Dubliner in the rainy 1960s that one day people would sit outside drinking coffee in Dublin they'd have been laughed out of town.
So, particularly in summer, grab a good book and settle down to a cup of Cruises Coffee Co's excellent coffee and just chill out and take in the surroundings. People watch, stroll up and down, listen to others' conversations, study the architecture of the city's quays and, from late 2005, watch the new river taxis as they glide past you. It's been such a success story that they're currently extending the Boardwalk east of O'Connell Bridge."
The only possible explanation for this outrageous review is that it was either written by the people who designed it, or by one of the winos that frequent the benches that line it. I take it that when they refer to the "excellent" coffee shop, they must be talking about the prefab that doubles up as a public urinal when the shutters are down. If this is Dublin's greatest "success story" then where the fuck does that leave Dublin?
If you're allergic to nature walks, Government buildings make you feel angry and the idea of starting a Family tree makes you want to scratch your eyes out, then don't forget about option number 10. " Go to the sea."
Whether or not thats to drown yourself remains unseen.
4 comments:
LOL!!!!
It has to have been written by the PR company of the manufacturers...that faux-wry, witty, yet undeniably perky tone makes me want to batter the writer with a frying pan.
The "broadwalk" is only a couple of yards long...how does one stroll on it without dying of board-om?
I did pass a pleasant evening on it though. A heaty May night in 2004, I sat with a bottle of vodka and my best friend, and we watched the lights on the quays go blurry.
So yeah, it has its good points.
Sarah: Maybe I didn't make myself clear-when I was referring to the winos that lurk on the benches, I was talking about myself-and apparently you.
Me three, its a sanctuary for knacker drinking in a city that denies our existance and contribution to contemporary Irish society
Rua: they should just set up a shop that sells nagans and cans of dutch gold.
Post a Comment