Should we have stayed at home and thought of here?

As I approach the climax of my education, I feel a twinge. Third level has been a twisted path- one littered with failures, u-turns, a self diagnosed heart condition, and insurmountable debt. But there was always a definite job at the end of it. (honestly, there was) There was a light at the end of the tunnel. (No, genuinely, there was)

Without going into the obvious, that carpet has been well and truly ripped from under my naive feet.

The not knowing would have been fun a while back. The possibilities would have seemed endless. I would have taken a loan out and headed for the sun. I would have laughed and marvelled at people who were worried. But now, after 6 years of college and only an undergrad to show for it, I'm feeling peaky. Fears of AIB overlords repossessing my clothes, 250 euro car, saddleless bike, and rented room suddenly aren't so funny.

It seems that when you have a degree, certain things become expected of you. "When are you going travelling? " is a question that is asked at every turn, so much so that you start to feel that the staff of trailfinders are working undercover,wearing your friends faces as masks. The expectation that you have to leave Ireland and travel for a year in the two years following college seems to be unavoidable.Only a mad person would want to live in Dublin. Stay in Ireland? Who the fuck wants to live in Ireland?

None of my friends apparently. And as the rats are starting to jump into the water one by one, the sinking ship is starting to feel lonely.